Exactly a year ago, BxFrox released her very first look book… I was honored to present it exclusively on this blog. Anyone who follows my blog knows I am a huge fan of the creative director of BxFrox. She is very subtle, but still obvious in her style stance. She is indeed effortlessly chic. I follow her closely… she has certainly evolved over the past 12 months. She is more detailed, more flexible in her style… yet maintains what makes her line so unique… a chic presence, without forcing it! “It has to seem effortless, Nina” she had said to me once.
How much more can we as humans possibly take?!!!! How can a government be so cruel? I am honestly sick and tired! Recently, I have not been able to write about many things… How do I write when we are all struggling daily to even survive? I am upset, disappointed and just weakened by the consistency of the Nigerian government’s lack of care towards the regular Joe… If you no hol’ pieces for this country, no hope oh!
I have had various ugly experiences in Nigeria, and to be honest, I have been angry. Angry that government officials can still come out of their homes confidently, when they are all guilty of the death of many of my Nigerian brothers and sisters. People are dying! Poverty, road accidents, terrible health facilities…. High blood pressure! Kai!… and when I thought it could not get worse… SOOT!!!! Those who live and work in Rivers State are constantly covered in SOOT! So now, we have to worry about a clear exposure to various diseases (Including Skin & Lung cancer) caused by SOOT.
How much more can we possibly take? The Federal Government is quick to swing into action once one ‘yeye election’ is taking place… Military officials and war ammunitions go full everywhere! But now?!!! Now that your citizens are being killed slowly… Everyone is mute? Who are those in charge of such health hazards in the country? does Rivers State have any agency/ministry responsible for the general health and safety of her people?
It’s almost 2 weeks into 2017!! And I have never been more excited. I turned 30 last year… it was the most amazing feeling! I can genuinely say I have come a long way, and luckily, I have grown significantly in many aspects of my life. I always wanted to be married at 21…. that obviously didn’t happen LOL… but now, I am happy I started my home at a ‘mentally/spiritually mature’ point in my life… I would have driven my husband crazy if I got married at 21 (No jokes lol). Anyway!!! I am married, with 2 amazing sons and a budding career… At 30, many are already billionaires, people in ‘some countries’ are already even grand mothers/fathers (chuckles)… But hey, I never compare my growth to anyone else’s… I just ensure that I am a better ‘me’ today than I was yesterday.
So what is your definition of growth? Many ‘In Nigeria’ would say wealth… or marriage…. or even becoming a parent. Although all these and more are characteristics of growth, I will always respect growth attained on the ‘mental’ and ‘spiritual’ level. I have realized that this sort of growth always translates into a positive impact on the physical/material growth we all cherish so much.
A parent without a certain level of mental and spiritual maturity may not be able to handle the expectation of ‘total selflessness’ that comes with it. You are now expected to put that child first, above everything you love. You may be able to balance parenting with doing some things that make you happy, but ultimately, things that make you happy come second… that child becomes your #1 priority… Can you handle that reality? All the money in the world can never prepare you to constantly loose sleep watching over your child… or sacrifice that precious spa day because you child’s needs didn’t leave any extra room in your schedule… Or re-arranging your gorgeous home to accommodate your ‘overactive’ toddler to keep him/her safe… Or pray tirelessly for them, not yourself… Or watch educational videos ALL DAY (aka cartoons lol) instead of all your favorite programs (Aka soccer lol).
A husband/wife without a certain level of mental and spiritual maturity may not be able to handle the expectation of ‘no privacy’ that comes with it. You are expected to share ‘everrrrrrything’ with your spouse, including your precious space! You can no longer lounge with a glass of wine, in ur pj’s all day, catching up on ur shows, because ‘the spouse’ needs you for whatever reason. You must report your location, your dreams/thoughts… and you can’t even have your password(s) in peace (She will be there nosing around.. She: Aka, me LOL)… Being a spouse requires patience… You ‘Must’ be a ‘Mumu’ on various occasions for peace to reign… and even when you want to exert your brain, you must apply caution… you can’t just open your mouth and be talking anyhow… it will be recorded and referenced repeatedly, decades later when your view may have changed lol… Jokes apart, marriage is not for kids lol…. you must be mentally and spiritually ready for the journey.
Wealth is a great source of happiness (notice that I wrote happiness not JOY). Wealth helps, but can never be a true source of joy. Yes, you can buy your wife a brand new car, but you can not change the fact that she resents you… only a certain level of mental/spiritual maturity can help you prove yourself and earn her love back, if you’re lucky… otherwise, ‘na to dey cry inside G-wagon be dat’. Yes, you can take your kids to the most expensive schools… but only a certain level of mental/spiritual maturity will make you accept your child’s weaknesses and help them retain their confidence, even as they simply can not understand the algebra taught in the very expensive school. Only a certain level of mental/spiritual maturity will help you garner the patience to tutor, embrace, and sometimes caution that child to be the best version of himself/herself.
In 2017! We need Mental/Spiritual Maturity!… We need the maturity to accept when we are wrong and work hard to change. We need the maturity to accept when we have been foolish, and work hard to attain knowledge and reach out to those who know better. We need the maturity to embrace flaws we can’t change and fine-tune our strengths. We need the maturity to know we need God, and seek him daily in all we do. We need the maturity to know and understand the true meaning of Love, and express it everyday of our lives.
Yes, I am excited about 2017 because I am invested in mental and spiritual growth, this year and beyond. I have so many things in the works… so many things to learn and explore… so much love to give… 2 little boys to chase after… Learning various ways to keep ‘the boo’ excited in our home… My little unique circle of amazing family and friends to appreciate/value… and a great God to worship and adore. So you see, my year will be filled with exciting realizations and beautiful testimonies!
How about you? What’s your new year resolution?
Like I always say, never stay trapped in the norm! Unleash your alter ego today!