Dear Uterus Time Keepers! Weh-Done!
The Month of March was certainly for the “Woman”… My drive to ‘rise’ was certainly re-ignited. I attended so many amazing seminars, and got invited to talk at a few gatherings. Whenever I have a presentation where I ‘teach’… I always end up learning and growing myself. It is important to know your worth and the value you bring to the table… this is something you must take out time to decipher. Ask yourself, Who Am I? Think about all you do.. think about the positive and negative… think about all the boundaries you have broken, and how you accomplished your breakthrough. In Nigeria, if you are not a billionaire, no one is really interested in your story or how you attained your current growth level. Everyone has their growth pace, and no pace should ever be belittled! As long as the milestone was achieved honestly… through hard work and God’s grace… It should and must be celebrated!
Okay, back to my topic…. I always digress lol! So, I heard a story of a lady who was unable to have kids for 13years. While she was TTC, she went to see a friend who just had a child, bearing gifts…. the friend refused to let her touch the new baby. I was completely confused by this story… is it that her delayed pregnancy would somehow reverse the birth of the baby that is already born? Or, she is drenched in so much infertility, that her physical contact with the child will somehow place a jinx on their generation(Oh, but they accepted the gifts she brought, her gifts no follow for the witchcraft… mtchewwww)? I do not know this lady who suffered such rejection from a so-called friend, but I was livid!
This story has been told in various forms by various women in Africa and beyond. Women are punished for any slight delay in birthing a child. My friend pointed out that churches will never even say ‘FAMILIES looking for the fruit of the womb should step forward’… It’s always, ‘any WOMAN looking for the fruit of the womb…’ It’s ridiculous!!!!!
Some newly weds do not want to start pro-creating immediately…. some are already trying and do not need your insensitive questions and inquiries… are you a Uterus time keeper? Are you a ‘winch’? Why so interested? Is it ‘ya’ womb? … Like WTF?!!!!!!! Another reason for such foolishness is ignorance. When one is not knowledgeable enough to know it’s not always the woman’s fault…. other times, everything is perfectly okay, its simply an “in God’s time” situation. If you are not my sister, close friend, mother or some similar relation, you dare not ask me “Nina, won’t you give your husband a daughter?”… Like ‘realllly’? Am I God? Did my husband complain to you? Someone once said to me “How can you say you’re done having kids, that’s just wickedness”… ‘Excccccuse’ you! Will you pay our kids tuition? Will you provide food for them?… If you take up that responsibility, you can join us in the bedroom when we make family decisions… If not, please keep your opinions about “my” family planning situation to yourself… The chick and I aren’t even cool like that, like ‘serrriously’!
If you have one child… it’s not enough! If you have five kids… people will tutor you on family planning. If you have all girls… Problem. All boys… Problem. Can we just be?! Women have been punished for way too long… We already have so many odds against us in the world as it is… can we please be left to attend to our wombs in peace? It is the most insensitive thing! Do not question a woman about her choice to hold off on having children… Do not nag a woman who is trying her best to take in… Do not ridicule her for being unable to bare a certain sex (Ps: the man is the source of whatever sex the woman ends up carrying… it’s from his loins!).
The sad reality is… it is mostly women that give other women grief! Sometimes, depending on the relationship you have with the person, giving candid/helpful advise is not a problem… but most times it’s just tatafo and wickedness… please, please, please! worry about your uterus… let me worry about mine… Nonsense!
Okay, obviously this is certainly not my writing style… but I seriously needed to put this out there, I have been brought to tears by stories of women who have been abused, rejected, and even ejected from their matrimonial homes. I have been shocked by the attitude of some husbands towards their wives (even when it may be his fault). Some women have suffered heart breaking miscarriages, but you sit on your high horse and ‘talk nonsense’ because God decided to bless you with children, Weh-Done oh!. Everyone just needs to face their work… let families be! Let God perform his work in their lives. These days, science has evolved, there are so many options. So don’t worry, there is enough researched science to help them… you are not God.. fix your own problems!
Okay I’m done!
Like I always say, don’t stay trapped in norm. Unleash your alter ego today!
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